This resource will help you and your family think about what is important to you and the questions you want to talk about with your cancer team. Patients and health professionals developed the resource together.
Please note that this resource makes direct reference to death and dying and draws on the words of people who have died.
People begin to think about death and dying at different times. Some may never want to talk about end of life – we are all different and have different needs and wishes.
If you have started thinking about what happens towards the end of life it may be because:
Whatever the reason, this information is here to support you when you are considering end of life.
Talking about dying can be upsetting and frightening. Many people don’t know what to say, or how to respond in case they say ‘the wrong thing’.
We talk about someone ‘passing away’, ‘no longer being with us’ or ‘gone’. We avoid using the words death and dying. This can be a sign of respect for the family or loved ones left behind, but it can also be a way of avoiding talking about death which can be confronting and make us feel uncomfortable.
Importantly, open conversations about end of life may not be culturally acceptable and can cause offence or great distress.
Many health professionals also find the topic of dying challenging to talk about. Doctors and nurses may be concerned about starting a conversation because they don’t want to upset a patient, but this can take away the opportunity for open and honest discussions.
Research tells us that most people want an opportunity to talk about end of life with the health professionals involved in their care. Unfortunately, this does not happen for many people.
If, or when someone is ready, there can be many benefits to talking about end of life.
A conversation about what matters most to a person allows them to make choices, to share what they want with family and friends, and to feel they have some control over the precious time that remains.
You may want to explore the end of life topics in this resource, when you are ready.
“Living happens to all of us, Dying happens to all of us”. BJ Miller, Zen Hospice